The terrorising two year old

It's like flicking a light switch isn't it? One day your lovely reasonable, calm, affectionate two year old goes to sleep and then wakes up with a personality transplant. Gone is the calm and lovely child. Gone is the ability to reason with them. Gone are most words other than "no", "I don't want to", "that's mine" and "I don't like it!" Gone is the sweet soft voice. Gone is any chance of leaving the house without having at least one major tantrum!

I have been through it before as I have three other children, but it's funny how you forget. It's like giving birth, painful and exhausting but what follows is such a joyful relief that you forget what came before.

Over the summer, A did start to get a bit more "temperamental" at times over things and a few people gave me that knowing look and one or two said that I should brace myself for the "terrible twos". But I just smiled and laughed it off. It would be a doddle, wouldn't it? I've been through it before and survived, haven't I? I'm a seasoned veteran at dealing with the challenges of parenting.

So, I'm not laughing anymore! I really had forgotten how frustrating and exhausting it is. And it's the smallest, stupidest, most insignificant things that cause the biggest tantrums. Take Christmas day for a good example. It is the first Christmas where A has really got into it. She was thrilled to get presents and opened them all with enthusiasm and loved everything. She is particularly fond of Peppa Pig at the moment and the mere hint of an oink has her scurrying to the television faster than anything. She seemed to get a number of pairs of pyjamas this year and one if them was embellished with the loveable pig and it was love at first sight! She managed to expertly rip open the remaining presents whilst holding on to these pyjamas. Time to get dressed came and A had a lovely new top and leggings to wear, but no! She wanted to change into her new pyjamas and nothing and no-one was going to deter her.

We managed to get as far as undressing her and that is as far as we got. No, she was not putting on anything but these pyjamas. We tried all the usual approaches; coaxing, threatening, shouting, ignoring, bribing, but no, she screamed and she shouted, she ran away, she screamed some more and the the tears. It went on for hours and I was envisaging the lovely Christmas day family photos with everyone looking lovely and A in her Peppa Pig PJ's!

An hour and a half later, she was distracted by one of her toys and I gently suggested that she was a bit chilly and maybe she should get dressed and she did, as meek as a little lamb. Face red and tear-stained, but quite happy, normal service had been resumed.

The phrase "terrible twos" is slightly misleading I always think. All four of my children have gone through the "frustration and tantrums" period at totally different times. My eldest went through it at three and it was triggered by his father and I splitting up and I remember having some interesting stand-offs with him. Shops were the thing with him. He was rather spoilt and whenever we went into a shop, he was only ever happy if he got some new piece of plastic to add to his collection. No was not an option as far as he was concerned and I can still vividly remember a terrible tantrum he had in a little shop in Cornwall about a little teddy bear in disguise.

My now seven year old reacted very badly to the birth of his brother when he was nineteen months and he still has the crown for the king of all tantrums. He was and still is the most fiercely determined character and when he had a tantrum it went on and on and on. By the time he was two, he had calmed down a bit and became the loveliest and calmest of children.

Baby brother, child number three was different again. The loveliest two year old you could ever wish for. Gentle, calm, loving, reasonable, I should have known that it wouldn't be that easy. Around three and a half, he changed and that is when the fun began with him. L is a lovely boy, but the tantrums we have had with him have been a whole new ball game. We have had bed times with L where he has been so aggressive, we have wondered what we are going to so with him. Three years later and although things have improved, he still has some impressive tantrums at times.

Having lived through that, the "terrible twos" are definitely more appealing as at least they can be short-lived. One or two people have said that the tantrums will be worse with A as she is a girl. I don't think that that is the case. She is her own person, she has reached that point in her life where she thinks that she can make the decisions. The tantrums are just her way of manifesting that. She is simply a little girl who is fiercely independent and who is making that change from baby to toddler. We just need to batten down the hatches until she comes out the other end!