A Mother's Work Meme

The very lovely Musings from a Mum introduced me to A Mother’s Work Meme established by Mother. Wife. Me and Pret-A-Mummy to discuss whether or not society values and supports mothers. This is a subject very close to my heart and as I am currently going through a great deal of soul searching on the subject, I was more than happy to join in.

So the rules of the meme are straightforward, they are…

Rules:

Please post the rules

• Answer the questions in as much or as little detail as suits you
• Leave a comment on mother.wife.me so we can keep track of the meme
• Tag 3 people and link to them on your blog
• Let them know you tagged them
• Tweet loudly about taking part (well ok, that isn’t a rule, but how about if we start a hashtag – #amothersworkmeme)

Questions:
1.  Did you work before becoming a mum?
Yes, well, after I had my first child, I finished my degree, did a PGCE and then became a secondary French teacher.  It was a real challenge at the time and meant that my son was in full time nursery until he started school, but I was very determined then to establish my career as ultimately I knew that it would mean a better life for us.

After I fell pregnant for the second time, eight years later, I was determined not to work full time as I felt that I had missed out on so much on my first son's early years.  I went back part time for eighteen months and then gave up after baby number three and became a SAHM.

2.  What is your current situation?
I have been an SAHM for nearly seven years now and also have a two year old daughter.  We quickly realised that things were going to be a struggle with only one wage, so I have tried a number of things over the years to try and do a 'job' that fits in with being a mum.  Currently, I am a French Tutor, so I offer hourly French lessons to people of any age, usually in their houses.  I do this for two or three evenings a week and Saturday mornings.  Last year, I decided to register as a childminder and so I currently child mind for three days a week too.

3.  Freestyle– got your own point you’d like to get across on this issue? Here’s your chance…

Financially life is tough for us at the moment.  My husband is on a good salary, but we have overstretched ourselves and things have become too difficult on one wage.  I love working as a tutor, but the reality of that is that I am self-employed; so no holiday or sick pay, the work is seasonal; so at the moment I am quite busy but after the exams are finished things will be quiet and to be honest I don't think people realise that it is my job and cancel at the last minute and sometimes mess me around.  People have often said that I should market myself better and maybe add in other services such as translation services, but I'm not sure that I have the confidence to do it.  The childminding came out of wanting to help out a friend, but even in the few months that I have been doing it, I know that it really isn't for me.  I will carry on if there is really no other alternative, but I would definitely prefer to work with older children.

The thing that frustrates me about my situation is that I am a hard-working, relatively intelligent, creative and organised person, yet I currently feel as though I am unemployable.  I scour job adverts in the local papers and on line and I never seem to 'fit'.  I am not alone I know, there is a real wealth of intelligent and talented mums out there who can't or don't work as so few jobs fit in around their primary role as a mum.  I don't feel ready to go back to work as a teacher at the moment as teaching is great in that you have the holidays, but in term time, it is really inflexible.  You can't just take a day off if your children are ill or you need to do something.

A friend recommended looking at some websites designed specifically for mums, but the jobs seem to be party planning, pyramid selling or direct sales and that may work for some, but I want a job that is flexible, part-time and where I get paid by someone else.  I don't want to sell cosmetics or do cookery demonstrations, I don't have the money or the time to start up a franchise.  I just want a little job that gives us a bit more financial security and me a bit of confidence and freedom again.

Then there is the childcare issue.  Firstly there aren't many options where we live.  My children go to a wonderful school that is seven miles away and finding someone to pick them up every day would be a real problem.  We don't have any family support really so that's not an option.  On top of that is the extortionate cost of childcare for one child full-time and potentially before and after school for two others.  If I worked a whole day and needed before and after school for the two boys, childcare could cost me somewhere in the region of £50 - £60 each day.

I will keep looking and hopefully something will come up that suits or that at least we can adapt to if necessary, but the talents of so many clever mums are wasted because of the limitations set by employers and  rising costs and the general lack of childcare, which I personally think is a real shame. 

I don't like to tag people with memes but if this post strikes a chord with you, feel free to write your own 'A Mother's Work Meme' post and add it to the growing list of bloggers who have shared their own experiences.