Am I a pushy parent?

Over the last few days, I have seen my usually happy and confident eight year old son become irritable and introverted and I have had a real panic attack! The reason? Grade one piano exam. He has been so stressed about it that I have really started to worry if I have been a 'pushy parent'.

Don't get me wrong, I like to motivate my children, help them to develop and make good decisions and there are times when all children; whatever the age need a bit of gentle manoeuvring in the right direction. But I don't ever want to be a 'pushy parent'.

Turn the clocks back to last year, R then seven wanted to start learning to play the piano. I was thrilled as this is also one of the ambitions to learn one day. We bought a piano and he started having lessons.

He loved it to begin with and practised regularly without being asked. Then as it started to get more challenging, he became a little reluctant. I didn't push it but then when the piano teacher said that he wasn't making any progress, I told him that it was time to start practising or give up altogether. Piano lessons aren't cheap I can tell you and although that wasn't an overriding factor, I did feel that we were wasting money if he wasn't putting any effort in.

The change was quite dramatic after that. He started practising morning, noon and night, almost to the point where he was driving us crazy, playing the same songs over and over again. The result of this hard work though was incredible, he suddenly could really play. It was amazing to hear him. The piano teacher was really pleased and suggested that we start working towards his Grade One exam.

R was pleased and as he is extremely competitive, he loved the idea of doing the exam and getting a certificate.

That was a few months ago. As the exam has approached R obviously started to feel a little anxious. His way of dealing with this was to shut down and he stopped practising. The nearer it got, the worse it got and last week, he was rude to his piano teacher and said he wasn't going to do the exam.

Last night he got really upset and asked me if I could stop him from taking the exam as he was really worried about failing. I looked at his little face and how upset and stressed he was I felt like a really bad mummy. Was I being too pushy? Although he's quite mature he is only eight years old maybe it was a bad idea?

So today was the day and I took him to exam half expecting him to refuse to go in. He was amazing and I was so proud of him. He smiled and chatted to the examiner and although he was really nervous, he conducted himself in a very mature manner. I was sat in the room next door feeling really sick with anxiety.

It's all over now thank goodness and I won't be putting him in that situation again any time soon as it has been an experience for both of us. I don't mind if he passed or not, although it would be lovely for him if he did. We found out in a few days so I'll let you know!